My mother--part 1

So I had a brilliant idea.......surprised? These don't happen often, but this one was good, really. My mom passed away almost 18 years ago....I was 13. The girls love "grandma Judy". They grieve her death. They grieve not knowing her. They feel close to her. They love her. They will be doing something and say.......I wish your mom was here. Or they will say......I'm sorry your mom died. When they hear of people that die, they talk about how that person gets to see Judy in heaven. I love it that they feel connected with her without ever actually meeting her. Thank you Lord! There are SO many times when I wish I could call her for advice or when I wish I could call her and tell her the FUNNY things that the girls say......she would totally laugh so hard with me! But, the fact is that we can't call her, but we CAN still be connected with her and have the girls feel connected with her.
Anyway.......back to my brilliant idea.......I always want pictures with my girls and my mom. I don't have my mom here to do that, but I DO have some of her things. So, each girl picked something that was special to my mom, or that makes them think of her, and we did a little photo shoot. I will do a post for each girl and her stuff so it won't be another forever long post!

morning

Getting ready in the mornings is ALWAYS an adventure with 6 girls living in one house. We have a routine....for the most part, but then add in emotional, dramatic girls, and you just never know what you are going to get! The routine is supposed to pretty much go as follows in the summer:

• I get up and get in the shower


• When I get out of the shower, usually one or more girl has gotten up


• I wake all of the girls up and tell them to get breakfast (When I say "I", I might mean me OR I might mean Autumn, so remember that when you are reading this.)
  
• They get cereal or toast or whatever for breakfast
• They clean up from breakfast then get their clothes on
• Brush teeth
• Do their assigned chores (while they are doing this I get ready)
• I call for hair--if you aren't in the "beauty shop" by the time I am done with the other sister's hair, too bad for you........you go messy Jessie the rest of the day
• IF you get things done, you can watch tv. Oh, and you get paid for your chore ($0.25)
• Get shoes...........head out the door.

Simple routine right? Not so hard right? Well, some mornings it is more like this (remember that "I" means Autumn or me):

• I get up, get in the shower.
• When I get out of the shower, more than one girl is up and I know this because I hear bickering.......pause to go resolve the fight
• The girls are up because they hear whoever was screaming....they go get breakfast
• I pause putting on my makeup to solve the mystery and extremely important problem of who got more cereal, or whatever the cereal crisis might be that particular day.
• I pass a girl in the hallway and ask the questions: Are your teeth brushed? clothes on? chores done? shoes on? The answer is more like a blank stare and the girl goes on
• Another fit...............maybe we resolve it, maybe we ignore it
• repeat the last two steps over and over
• Someone is not happy with their clothes.
• I call for hair........I call for hair.......I call for hair...........I CALL FOR HAIR.........there they come!
• Someone else isn't happy with their clothes, or shoes.
• Maybe chores get done, maybe not.......
• I send them to the car and then get my stuff together
• As I approach the car I hear screaming because one sister OBVIOUSLY looked at another sister in a VERY some kind of wrong way!
• Nobody has their seat belts on.......of course they don't..........

Ok, so this exact scenario doesn't happen every day to THAT extent, and it isn't THAT bad.....well, yeah a few days that is the EXACT day, but most of the time, it is not quite that bad.

Today, however, the day went like this:

• I get up and get in the shower.
• I get out of the shower and start to get ready.........M is already saying unkind words to her sisters........we talk it out........well, I tell her that if she doesn't start talking nicely to her sisters, a nap is in her afternoon future. She gets kind quick.
• I continue getting ready........I see different sisters in and out of the room.....every time I see them, they are a step further in the getting ready process! What? I didn't even tell them!
• Every girl I see I ask......."Are your teeth brushed?" yes, yes, yes, yes are the answers I hear. Really? wow! Nice!
• I look around.........all girls have the right clothes on.......listen.......that is the sound of NO COMPLAINING of clothes!
• I go to get my breakfast........what is this I see? EVERY girl doing their chore.........with a smile! Wait......yep......1,2,3,4........all 4 girls!
• I keep getting ready........uh-oh......A is quiet....where is she? Oh no........there she is.......still trying to find her shoes, but the beauty is, even spending 10 min. trying to find the right shoes, she isn't crying about it! She isn't complaining about it!
• Hair time............1,2,3,4............all 4 girls!
• Time to go..........let's go! They all go out to the car.......I get my stuff.......what???? They aren't fighting!!!!!! They are all sitting.......WITH seat belts on! On the way to where we went.......no fighting! Just talking and a little giggling!

Really, morning times can sometimes get stressful, but we are thankful for every morning, stressful or not that we have together. Have a happy day!

Running away

So this might be a long story. Like I keep saying, I am going to post the stories of when we got each girl, but I just keep thinking of other things to post. So I will give you the quick version of how we got A because it pertains to this story. After we had M for about 6 months, we got a call and H and A needed a home immediately. We also had another girl living with us and there was just no way we could handle 4 girls........NO WAY we could EVER do that..........so we thought at the time! So we said that we would take the 2 for the weekend.......only for the weekend........they needed to go to a different home on Monday.......it was a weekend only. That's how we have to talk to dhs sometimes, well, some of them anyway and some of our workers were WONDERFUL! (We love you Mary!) Anyway, we got the girls for the weekend. They were 4 and 2. They did great in our home and we took them to dhs on Monday. On Tuesday we called and asked where they were. They were in a shelter. A shelter? Our M's little sisters were in a shelter? So we called our friend Angie who also did foster care (and also said she would never adopt and now has 2 bio children who are grown and 3 adopted children!). We told her what was going on and she was as sick as we were. She said that she would take A if we could take H.
WAHOOO..........great idea! That's what we did.......it was perfect! The girls got to see each other at church and daycare. So about 4 or so months passed by. As they passed, our home became more and more settled. M and H were able to work through some issues, and Angie's home became harder and harder. Angie is an awesome person. Really. She has a huge heart and is wonderful. Looking back, we can just see how God was gradually preparing our home to get A and her home for A to leave. We are forever grateful to Angie for what she did for our A in those few months. We are still very connected to Angie and her entire family....we love them!
While that is a great story in itself, that is only the background information needed to understand the real story. Go ahead and get some coffee for the rest of the story if you want. I told you this was going to be a long one!
So A had been at our home after coming from Angie's for about 3 months. She loved being with her sisters, and she was doing really well in our home. The older girl that was living with us was great with A, and they had a special bond. However, with all of the foster kids that we had for a longer period of time, they all had a very hard time when they hit the 3 month mark, or around the 3 month mark. I don't know what it is about that timing, but around 3 months, I guess the honeymoon phase is over. Our sweet children who are grateful to be in our home and who love us dearly suddenly decide at the 3 month mark that they will question every rule, and test us again and again, be their meanest ever........just to see if we will still love them and want them in our home.
A was in this stage. And with her, every time she didn't get what she wanted, she would want to go back and live with Momma Angie. We heard this over and over and over and over and .........you get it right? So she went through that stage and was well on her way out of that stage when one day we were leaving in the morning to go do something fun. I don't remember what exactly that fun thing was, but it was fun. The whole morning and the whole time we were doing the fun thing, she was talking about how she was just going to go to Momma Angie's house. This was different this time because she started saying it when she was perfectly happy, not in trouble at all. You have got to understand this girl....she is determined, stubborn, and can get obsessive.......so what I'm saying is, if she sets her mind to something, there is no changing it.
So I get smart........I think of the Full House episode and I think there was a Brady Bunch episode when whatever child wanted to run away so the mother packs their bag for them and packs so much stuff that the kid can't carry it, decides they really do love it at their home, and works things out with mom......it ends with a hug and warm fuzzy feelings.
Yep, that's exactly how it would work. She is obsessing about going to Angie's, so if we pack her bags, pack them heavy, and send her out on the road by herself, she is sure to turn back and all will be well! Um.........NOPE! Nope nope nope, this is NOT how it happened.
HERE is how it happened:
A is crying and wanting to go to momma Angies so we say, ok A, you can go to Angies, let us help you pack. So I put our purses and whatever other heavy things we could find in a back pack. She didn't see what we put in. She hugged us, kissed us, got her helmet on , got her back pack on, and headed out.
Oh dear, she is not having a problem so far.
She got on her TINY Dora bike and started to pedal away down the road. (We live on a country dead-end road, so don't worry!)
Autumn!!!!!! She isn't having a problem......what do we do? We can't let her go to the highway!
Oh my goodness......I don't think Jan Brady ever got this far. Now what do I do?
So Autumn went and told her she forgot some things. She packed a little suitcase with like a 10 or more pound bag of potatoes! A came back and got her potatoes (she didn't know it was potatoes).
Oh yeah, this will get her. There is no way that she can pedal and steer the bike, with the big backpack on her back, the helmet falling in her face, and the suitcase to take too. No, she won't get far at all!
WRONG!!!!!!!
She was doing it.....she was dragging the suitcase alongside of the bike. What in the world?
So I start following her down the road because I don't want her to get to the highway.
Think Trinity, think.....
At first I just followed without her knowing I was following her, but then she kept going, so I had to give myself away. I didn't know what else to do, so I just started talking to "myself" really loud for her to hear.
Wow.......look at those clouds! I hope a tornado doesn't come. She didn't even care...... So I started talking TO her. A, if a big storm with lots of thunder comes, you need to take cover. And if a big mean stranger comes, just ride the other way. And if you see a skunk, try not to get sprayed.
I was trying to make her want to come home, but she just said, "ok" as if she was THANKFUL for all of the advice!
I SAID........if you see SKUNKS, you need to not get SPRAYED!!!!!! I hope that TORNADO doesn't blow you away!
Nothing.........she just kept riding. At this point Autumn joined me and we were both saying those things. She then comes close to the highway......not dangerous close, just close.
We HAVE to do something! What are we going to do? Why did I try to do that stupid reverse psychology from those dumb shows like it would really work?
So Autumn went to the grass parallel with the highway in the direction she wanted to go to momma angie's. Autumn peeked in the grass then jumped back in surprise.
Snake! Snake! Oh my goodness, I saw a snake. A, just be real careful of that big HUGE snake in that grass right there.
There was no snake, it was just our last resort! A froze......her big, worried eyes looked up at us.
Is it big?
Yep. Hope it doesn't hurt you ....be safe!
This was working.......she was buying it! I could smell her fear! So we turned around and said goodbye and started slowly walking back towards home. HOPING she would follow. Sure enough we hear:
Wait. I think I don't want to go there anymore. I think I will just go home.
Oh yeah! Mrs. Brady has NOTHIN on me! It's working! We walked ahead of her back home and God made it rain! PERFECT!
She got home and said she decided to stay at our house.
Good. (very matter of fact)
We love you and this is where you belong.
Never had her run away again!

My new toy!

I got a new camera! I love my cameras. I love to take pictures! I love it that you can totally capture a moment in time and just freeze it forever.
So as an early birthday present, Autumn and the girls got me a new camera! I got a waterproof camera!!!!

I am SOOOOOO excited! I can't wait to use it......in the pool, sprinkler, rain, snow.......can't wait!!!

We went out for a little bit yesterday in the sprinklers and I got a couple, then today I had M spray the water on the camera so I could get these....she kept knocking it over with the water, so it was funny. Tonight we are going to a friend's house to swim............you know I will post pictures later!

Have a happy day!

Just in case you want to know...

A couple of people have asked me how to comment on this blog. I told them, but I thought there might be someone else that might want to know. Or maybe I just want you to know cause I want to hear from you. OR maybe those couple of people are the only ones who read this.......either way......you just click the "comments" button at the end of a post. You write whatever you want to write, then it will say: comment as. Scroll down to anonymous if you want. Be sure and sign your name IN the comment if you sign as anonymous. You can preview your comment, then click on "post comment".

Easy right? That's how you do it.......JUST in case you were REALLY wanting to know!

Thanksgiving

I know....it's not Thanksgiving. And this isn't a sweet post about giving thanks every day of the year, although that would be nice.....yeah, I should probably do that. Anyway, that is a different post...this is a Thanksgiving story from a few years ago. Why did I choose today to tell this story? I thought of it today. I haven't thought about this story in a while and I thought of it today and I figured I don't know when I will think of it again, so I better write it down while I am thinking of it. So............come back in time with me a few years.

We had M and H in our home as well as big H (a girl who lived with us for almost a year. She was tween age, fair skinned, blue eyes, blond hair and very pretty). M was 6 and H was 4 or 5. (At some point I will take you through the journey of us starting foster care, getting each girl and adoption). So I was driving the car.....had the 3 girls in the back. I heard muted arguing. I say muted because I was totally zoned out. I was either singing to the radio, or so deep in thought. The arguing grew louder and a little more intense....not hitting each other intense, but it just wasn't going to stop. So I start listening. I know, I should be more in tune to what is going on in the car while driving, but I'm not. That is when I find myself answering uh-huh or oh, yeah to a lot of things without really listening. I need to get better at that. I have gotten a little better, but there is always room for improvement! Anyway.......I was driving.......there was arguing.......I started to listen. I hear the following conversation:

Big H: You are not M!

M: Yes I am too!

Big H: No you aren't M.

M: I am too

Big H: No you aren't. Trinity, Tell M that she is NOT an Indian.

That cracked me up right there. I don't know why, but it was just funny. M was EXTREMELY feisty when we first got her....now she is more of a controlled feisty, but it was more untamed then. I could just imagine her at school for her Thanksgiving play fighting with everyone telling them that she IS an Indian! Oh yeah.......clue in Trinity......you are the referee right now....you have a fight to resolve.

Me: No M, you aren't an Indian you are Mexican. Your dad is from Mexico so that makes you Mexican.

I love it that the girls are Mexican. I think it is fun. I think it is a fun culture and we try to embrace that culture when we can. We have made the tradition of making tamales at Christmas to include their Mexican heritage. I love traditions and culture and heritage! I know......back to the story.....what is with me tonight chasing all of these rabbits?

M: Oh, I thought I was an Indian.

I can see the proud eyes of Big H in the back...proud that she was right. I think those eyes also said, I told you so!

Me: No, you are Mexican. I like it that you are Mexican.

M: Aww man, I thought I was an Indian. Oh well, that's ok H (big H that is). You are still a pilgrim!

5 hour trip

I said a while back that I would post pictures from our trip to my step-sister's wedding, so here they are. Autumn reminded me a day or so ago that I hadn't posted and I said that I would and it gets on her nerves when bloggers say they will post pictures and never do....don't want to get on her nerves, so here are the pictures! Some of them anyway. The wedding was so fun....it was small and just tons of fun. My step-sister Stacy and her husband catered all of the food......they did an incredible job! The girls always have fun with their cousins.....cousin J always comes to stay with us in the hotel when we go....good memories!

The girls love dancing....usually we just have dance parties in our kitchen, so it is fun for them to dance with other people besides just us in other places besides just our kitchen.
Me, dad and Autumn. I'm glad we got to visit with him. It has been a while since we have seen him. He got to come to our hotel and visit for a couple of hours the day of the wedding, so that was great!

Cousin J fits right in to our clan! They all enjoy each other so much. There were a couple of times she was with us that we forgot she was there because she is so good!

I love to watch the girls dance when they forget that people are watching. None of the girls danced when we first got them. Through my few years of experience with foster care, there are two standards that I use to judge if a kid is stable and secure in a home. If they are stable, their skin and hair are healthy.
All of the girls, except for A came to us with unhealthy skin or hair, and it cleared up in a noticeable amount of time. Also, I say you can tell if a child is secure in their home when they are comfortable enough to dance......not in public necessarily, but just dance. Anyway, there I go on my rambling, but that is why I love to see the girls dance. I love to see the freedom and joy they have when they dance!

Here is the whole crew.......minus Bethany and her fam....they weren't able to make it this time.

Uncle Mike (my step-sister Nanna's husband) is so good with the girls and they love him.

The bride, Amy, and the parents.

The night before the wedding, we got together and ate and the kids played. I'm glad they get to see their cousins and spend time with them.

When I am around a bunch of boys, I am reminded how different boys and girls are. I grew up with only sisters, have a house full of girls now, so I am so not used to boys wrestling, making funny noises, and all that comes with having boys. I AM used to squeals about nothing, mood swings like crazy, and drama like you have never seen, but wrestling and such.........not so much! These boys are great kids and fun to be around!

Hmmmmmmmmm............these two make quite the pair. They are pretty quiet, which means they just MIGHT be making some sort of plan.

Little cousin (boy) J is just so cute. He always smiles, which brings a smile to all of us.

They had so much fun together.

On our trip, about halfway, we stopped at Becky's daughter's house. These guys are basically my girls' other cousins. They have so much fun together, and when it is time to leave each other, there is always pouting and crying or sneaking into the other ones car to try and go together. That brings back memories......my cousins and I used to try and sneak to each other's homes (sound familiar Macy and Amanda?) The "potty stop" at their house was so fun but way too short!

This is Becky and Joey, Becky's youngest grandson. He is SOOOOOOOOOO cute! When we were walking out and saying goodbye, he just laughed and laughed at us. It SOOOOO made me not want to leave!