The wrong finger

This story is not about my children, but let me tell you, this is a funny story. Since I wrote the other day about M flipping her friend off, I figured it is the best time to tell this story. Yes, I did ask permission before posting this. Before I even get to the story, I have to tell you about my friend Becky, since that is who this story is about.

For those of you who know Becky, you are already laughing. For those of you who do not know my dear friend, let me describe her a little bit. I have not met a person who does not like Becky. She is just a likable person. She is old enough to be my mother, but in some strange way, we make great friends. She laughs at everything...and I mean EVERYTHING. She creates fun wherever she goes, and is kind, loving and caring.

Now that you have a basic description of her, let me begin the hysterical Becky story. Last summer, Becky went as a sponsor to Falls Creek, a huge camp for youth. At the beginning of the week, the photographer comes by and takes a group picture, with everyone wearing their youth group's camp shirt. The photographer always does a good job coming in, getting everyone in order, taking a great group picture, and taking a goofy picture in a very short amount of time. All 120 or so kids and sponsors dressed in the same t-shirt, stand around waiting for direction, then when the photographer enters, there are a lot of directions being shouted, people trying to figure out where to go...just a lot of chaos for a moment. Well, let's just say that Becky can get a little flustered in chaos if she doesn't know exactly where she is going or what she is doing.

Some of the sponsors decided before the picture exactly what they would do for the goofy picture: they would each put on their bandanna and then hold up the "I love you" sign with their fingers. Being sure she would do exactly what they decided for the goofy picture, Becky got into place, folded her bandanna just right, and then had someone help her get her fingers just right to do the "I love you" sign, then kept her fingers just right and put them by her side for the regular picture. Everyone was in place, her fingers were just right at her side, waiting to spring up for the goofy picture. One, two, three...great picture, now do something wacky. Everyone starts putting on a hat or glasses or whatever and posing in just the right goofy pose. Becky was ready...she just had to put on that bandanna and put her "I love you" fingers up...oh yeah.....the bandanna! Oh no....she forgot the bandanna. Panic....aaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh........wait wait wait.....just get this bandanna on and......
Photographer: Ok everyone.....wacky picture in one.....

Becky: Oh.....I have to get this bandanna on........

Photographer: two........

Becky: There, got the bandanna, now, how was it that I'm supposed to do my fingers? How does that sign go? ooooooo......I have to get this, is it these two fingers or that one or......

Photographer: three....

Becky: oh no, I think it is goes like this......

Photographer: click......thanks everyone

Everyone started talking about the funny thing they did, and all 120 people started to scatter. Becky however, was stuck with her mouth open, trying to rewind time.

Becky: Ummm, you gys...I didn't do the "I love you" sign. I did something bad. I did the bad sign. I tried to get the sign right, but my middle finger was the only one that came up. You guys...really...oh dear, I don't think that was good. Come back you guys.

Everyone around her patted her on the back, reassuring her that it really wasn't that bad and that surely the photographer will touch it up.

Later that week, the photographer brought in the group pictures.........yep, sure enough, there is sweet, Innocent Becky smiling............flipping everyone off!

back to school!

We are not back to school yet, (the pictures are from first day last year) but we did find out who every one's teacher is and school is just around the corner. I am SO excited! I love back to school. I love the fall. I love getting back into the school routine. I love new backpacks and school supplies, although I do not love shopping for school supplies. I love picking out the first-day-of-school outfit. I love it when everyone wakes up super extra early on the first day of school because we are all so excited.

I am very excited that we are doing something new this year at the church for the first day of school. After we all drop off our kids at school, we are going to meet at the church and eat a light breakfast and pray for our kids. My friend Susie came up with this idea and I love it. Why didn't I think of this earlier? We will pray for our kids, the teachers, the other kids, etc. I am so excited about this just because I know how powerful prayer is and I can't wait to see what God can do this year in my kids and through my kids. I am so very thankful for teachers, and specifically my girls' teachers. I will be more diligent this year in lifting them up in prayer. There have been so many teachers, whether my girls have had them in class or just been in their building, that have help to shape each of my girls. I am very thankful for each one of them!

I am also just apologizing right now to each of my girls' teachers for any flipping off, dead mice brought to school, crazy stories, or anything else. Just apologizing ahead of time.

And to my girls' teachers: If you will believe half of what they say about us, we will believe half of what they say about you!

Potty mouths

I'm sure a whole bunch of your own stories of little kid potty mouths are going through your head just from reading the title. I have witnessed or heard stories of other kids repeating bad words they have heard their parents or someone else say. I have laughed very hard every time I heard a little kid do something like that...that is until I got kids of my own.

We really are very very conservative in our speech. We grew up that way and we are bringing up our girls that way. We often get the tattling "ummmm" followed by "she said.........". The blank is usually filled in with one of the following:

• the "b" word
• the "c" word
• the "s" word
• the "f" word

Now, the "b" word is "butt"...not a curse word, but just not a word that a lady should say. The "c" word has been "crap" or "hate". I have no idea why the "c" word was hate, but it was according to one of the girls, I don't remember which one. The "s" word is either "shut up" or "stupid" and the "f" word is "fart". We reply with, "Well, that isn't a cuss word, but it isn't a word that our family chooses to say." We have had to add, "...but we don't say anything if someone in another family says one of those words and that doesn't make them a bad person, we just choose not to say them." We have had to add that to our lecture because they would "ummm" people when we were out in public! Please just let me crawl under a table and hide!

The thing is, you just never know what they will say. I know I am so not alone. Every parent holds their breath a little when their kid speaks to someone, we clench our teeth when the teacher calls, and I'm sure I am not the only one that quickly covers their child's mouth when you see someone odd looking coming towards you and you see the look in their eyes that tells you they are about to make a comment or ask a question you would rather the public not hear! Well, I have two examples from our home.

When M was in the 1st grade (I can't believe she is almost in the 4th grade!), we had that call from the teacher, who is also my very good, kindred spirit friend Michele. It was only a few weeks into the school year when Michele called me. The conversation went something like this:

Michele: Trinity, M is in the Principal's office.

Me: You are kidding me, right?

Michele (seeming very stunned): No, I am not kidding.

Me: Okaaaaay (that is said with hesitancy).

Michele: Trinity, she flipped a kid off. Then she started talking really fast and rambling the story of how M wasn't happy with the girl next to her and just flipped her off. She didn't deny flipping this girl off, she said the girl made her mad.

My thought process was kind of like this:

Oh. My. Goodness. And just when I thought she was getting better! She's ruined and none of the parents are ever going to let their kids be friends with her! What am I going to do? I can't do this. She needs to go to counseling. What 1st grader flips her friends off? Does she know what that means? I have THAT child that goes around flipping everyone off! (all of those thoughts went through my head in about 2 seconds!

M came home from school, and by that time I had a chance to call Autumn Bethany and Becky, and calm down a little bit. When I asked her what flipping someone off means, she said, "it means leave me alone." Okay, I can handle that. But let's just say, little miss M definitely learned her lesson from the trip to the Principal's office that she uses her mouth, not her finger to tell people to leave her alone!

Next example, sister 4, S. She has gotten into a habit of saying "Oh my god." I hate even writing it. This is NOT a phrase we use in our home. We don't even say "oh my gosh" because it sounds like the other, and we don't want to constantly hear the fight of, "no I said gosh....no she didn't she said the other...etc." So we say, "oh my, oh dear, oh my goodness, etc." Like I said before, those are the rules we choose for our family, not saying everyone has to live by my rules. So I don't know why or where she picked it up, but she has picked it up. The first few times, she told on herself. She just came to Autumn and said, "I said a bad word, it was oh my dod." Her g's still sound like g's, so it is really funny. Of course, when a sister hears her say this, tattling is soon to follow. However, one day, M not only tattled, but also tried to give her sister a pep-talk/lecture that went kind of like this: "S, you aren't supposed to say that. You need to apologize to God (she heard Autumn tell her that). You need to say I'm sorry to God because you took his name in sane."

So, here is the rule: Do not take the Lord's name in sane!!!!!

Family roots

While at our family reunion, some of our cousins showed us this hiking trail that ended up at an amazing place at the lake. On our way, we came across this tree. It was a very unique tree. In this completely rocky place, there was a huge, massive tree. It's many roots were huge and spread out everywhere. It really made me think of our family. I mean, here is this tree in this incredibly rocky foundation. Our girls' beginning in life started out pretty rocky. I mean really, when I think about it, I begin to tear up thinking about where they would have ended up...kind of like most trees in rocky places...puny and without life. Most people who would look at the beginning of their life and see how rocky it was and think, "No way on earth could these girls survive." But they didn't just survive. They are like this tree...they are strong, showing their presence to the world and beating the odds.

Then I look at the roots of this tree and it makes me think of the many many people that have invested themselves in our family. And to find this tree at the family reunion where the girls felt so loved and felt apart of something big is no coincidence at all. Most of all, I am so amazed at how the Lord gives such grace to take us from any situation and make us apart of his family if we choose to be. It doesn't matter what your "foundation" is, he roots you so deeply in his love. I am so grateful for that love and I am so glad we found this tree. For some reason, seeing this tree just hit me with all of these thoughts. Writing about this tree makes my heart feel full of gratitude and love! I love this tree!

Principal's office

Just so you know, I have gone back and forth whether to write this post or not. I want to have the memory documented, and it is just a funny story, but if I just don't know if I got sent to the Principal's office I would want the details written down. So I won't tell all the details of that!
Now, just so you know, all of our kids have gotten tickets pulled, lost a gumball, got a strike, moved their car, and whatever other discipline system.....they have gotten in trouble at school for numerous things....some responsibility and some behavior things. But, I do have to say that I am glad for that. I know you are thinking....crazy woman, why are you glad your kids are in trouble? The truth is, I pray that my kids will be caught, and they know I pray that! I want them to be caught so they will be corrected. If they are never caught, they will rarely learn from the situation. So I pray that they are caught, and man are they ever. I sometimes find myself wishing I didn't pray that, but in the end, it is the best thing. The only thing they learn by getting away with something they know is wrong is how to get away with it next time. So I pray they get caught if they are doing something wrong. I want them to learn from their mistakes, not just repeat them over and over.
This brings me to a specific situation where S definitely got caught, over and over and over! Remember, she was in pre-k when all of this happened. I got a call from the teacher, which is usually not a great thing in the middle of teaching time. She told me of the problems of the morning, which left me searching my mind for ideas to help this girl know how to act right. And just to let you know, the problems weren't huge, just little disobedience over and over.....remember too, I pray that she gets caught in each of those times and the Good Lord answered that prayer! S is such a sweet girl, but she is determined and strong-willed, but not as strong-willed as the teacher! (By the way, we love her teacher dearly...we are childhood friends).
When she asked me if I thought she needed swats from the principal, I knew how serious this was. This girl will test you til the end for sure! I came to the school, took her to the van, had a good "talk" with her, and sent her back. I told her, "if you disobey again, you WILL get swats." Well, what does this say to this little darling????........it says.....disobey one more time and just see if someone will give my smiling face swats!
So she disobeyed....I get the call...I tell them to make it good so it will be the last....then I get sick to my stomach. I was irritated with her for disobeying, sad for her that she had to get swats, and selfishly, I was embarrassed that one of my kids had to go to the Principal's office.
That afternoon when I got them from school and the older girls found out about S's bad day...M cried. She was SO upset that S was the first Tinsley girl EVER to get swats from the prinicipal!
Fast forward to the next day. I was home on my day off folding laundry when I got a voicemail on my phone. It is S's teacher again telling me that they are having a rough morning, she had been in the Principal's office, and she (the teacher) just didn't know what to do. By this point, I am mad. I was mad at S for her continuing blatant disobedience, and I was at the end of my rope for what to do. I am telling you, I never folded laundry so fast. Maybe I should get worked up while doing laundry more often! I called Autumn and told her to go deal with it...I was still in my p.j.'s and just couldn't handle it.
Autumn went to the school, walked down to S's room, and knocked on the door. She was a bit thrown off to see a smiling (not shook up) teacher. The teacher was a bit surprised to see Autumn, and as Autumn looked a little further, she saw S doing what she was supposed to be doing and smiling. What in the world? Well, I got yesterday's message finally. Yep, my phone had JUST NOW sent me the message from the day before! S was doing perfectly fine...no problems! However, I had it in my head that she was in trouble that day, so after school, and all evening, every time she wanted candy or to watch TV or whatever, I would tell her no because she got in trouble. She had to remind me that she really didn't get in trouble. Then I would remember and we would all laugh at the day all over again! After that, S rarely got in trouble. Thank you Lord that she got caught and could learn from her mistakes! Thank you Lord for your grace, that whenever we do make mistakes and make bad choices, you continue to love us and teach us!

Lessons learned

I have found myself getting on to the girls a lot lately (as a crying girl lays beside me right now refusing to take a nap). They are legitimate reasons, but sometimes I feel like I neglect to see the good the girls are doing and I just focus on the things they need to work on. So, I decided to take just a minute and think about some of the things the girls do good...actually, there are many lessons I could learn from the girls if I choose to. Here are some of the lessons:

1. Lesson from sister #1-M: Stand up for the weak and for the things you believe in. Let me tell you, there is very little that can stand in this girls' way when she is determined. Thankfully, she notices those who cannot stand up for themselves and helps them. If she believes something is right, she will stand up for it. Sometimes I give up too easily, but this girl doesn't give up. Yes, this quality can drive me crazy when she and I disagree on what is right, but sadly to say, she is ending up right more and more lately!


2. Lesson from sister #2-H: Listen to people. Now, this child does not listen to directions, or she just doesn't compute directions real well, but she does listen to people. I find myself daydreaming while people are talking to me. I start thinking about the things that need to be done, or I pay attention to everyone else around me except for who is talking to me. Not H, she listens when someone is telling her about themselves or telling a story. She listens and remembers and it makes people feel good. She makes people feel important by listening to them.


3. Lesson from sister #3-A: Give compliments to people. A is SO good at this. There are many, many times when A will give someone, anyone a compliment, and it totally changes their entire demeanor. The other day we were in a store, and the clerk was just a tad grumpy. She just didn't smile. I was checking out with the girls, and Autumn was off looking at something else. Later in the car, Autumn was telling me how interesting it was that the clerk suddenly seemed to change her mood and start smiling. I told her what made the difference...it was our little 6 year old A who looked up at her and said, "You are really good at this job." I guess we all need a little encouragement from time to time, and A notices the people who usually don't get compliments and she is not afraid to speak up.


4. Lesson from sister #4-S: Smile. I know this seems like a simple lesson...well, I guess it is, but I am telling you, we all forget to smile. S smiles...a LOT. If we all smiled more, I think we would feel better, and I think other people would respond better towards us. S smiles. People notice her smile and it brightens their day. I need to remember to smile more.


5. Lessons from all sisters: Give hugs. Now I know that it is different for little girls to give hugs to people than it is for a grow woman to give a hug, but I am telling you, these girls hug people and it makes them feel important and loved. The thing is, most people will treat people differently based on money, clothes, or whatever. These girls don't. I need to learn from them.

Now, I am by no means trying to make them sound perfect because I know they aren't. (remember, I am writing these things so I will remember to see the good and not just point out the bad.) But, there are many lessons to be learned and opportunities to be taken every day. Don't miss out!

breakfast in bed

We went to a family reunion this weekend. It was wonderful! I will post pictures later, but I am just telling you it was great. The reunion was held at a guest ranch, so there was so much to do, and since our family went a day early, we had so much fun even before the family got there, and even more fun after they were there! We stayed in a little cottage, which had two small rooms with two twin beds in each room. There was a Murphy bed in the living room, one bathroom and a little kitchenette, which was not fully stocked. We brought our own breakfast stuff and some lunch things in order to save money and not eat out ever meal. So the first night, H and M decided that they wanted to make breakfast for us the next day.
They were insistent that we do not help at all so they can do this for us! Now, we are not talking pancakes and eggs, we are talking muffins in a package and heating up sausage. They got up the next morning, went QUIETLY into the little girls' room, and tried to wake them up. The little girls didn't want to get up, so they continued with the "cooking". They did everything perfectly, and woke us up SO cheerfully with our little breakfast! They even made my coffee and fixed it perfectly with cream and sugar. It was wonderfully thoughtful and so sweet! So in the few days after that great breakfast in bed when they are being rude to their sisters or me, or when they have an attitude the size of Texas, I think of that sweet breakfast and realize the CAN be sweet and they ARE sweet, they just choose not to SHOW their sweetness all the time!