Running away

So this might be a long story. Like I keep saying, I am going to post the stories of when we got each girl, but I just keep thinking of other things to post. So I will give you the quick version of how we got A because it pertains to this story. After we had M for about 6 months, we got a call and H and A needed a home immediately. We also had another girl living with us and there was just no way we could handle 4 girls........NO WAY we could EVER do that..........so we thought at the time! So we said that we would take the 2 for the weekend.......only for the weekend........they needed to go to a different home on Monday.......it was a weekend only. That's how we have to talk to dhs sometimes, well, some of them anyway and some of our workers were WONDERFUL! (We love you Mary!) Anyway, we got the girls for the weekend. They were 4 and 2. They did great in our home and we took them to dhs on Monday. On Tuesday we called and asked where they were. They were in a shelter. A shelter? Our M's little sisters were in a shelter? So we called our friend Angie who also did foster care (and also said she would never adopt and now has 2 bio children who are grown and 3 adopted children!). We told her what was going on and she was as sick as we were. She said that she would take A if we could take H.
WAHOOO..........great idea! That's what we did.......it was perfect! The girls got to see each other at church and daycare. So about 4 or so months passed by. As they passed, our home became more and more settled. M and H were able to work through some issues, and Angie's home became harder and harder. Angie is an awesome person. Really. She has a huge heart and is wonderful. Looking back, we can just see how God was gradually preparing our home to get A and her home for A to leave. We are forever grateful to Angie for what she did for our A in those few months. We are still very connected to Angie and her entire family....we love them!
While that is a great story in itself, that is only the background information needed to understand the real story. Go ahead and get some coffee for the rest of the story if you want. I told you this was going to be a long one!
So A had been at our home after coming from Angie's for about 3 months. She loved being with her sisters, and she was doing really well in our home. The older girl that was living with us was great with A, and they had a special bond. However, with all of the foster kids that we had for a longer period of time, they all had a very hard time when they hit the 3 month mark, or around the 3 month mark. I don't know what it is about that timing, but around 3 months, I guess the honeymoon phase is over. Our sweet children who are grateful to be in our home and who love us dearly suddenly decide at the 3 month mark that they will question every rule, and test us again and again, be their meanest ever........just to see if we will still love them and want them in our home.
A was in this stage. And with her, every time she didn't get what she wanted, she would want to go back and live with Momma Angie. We heard this over and over and over and over and .........you get it right? So she went through that stage and was well on her way out of that stage when one day we were leaving in the morning to go do something fun. I don't remember what exactly that fun thing was, but it was fun. The whole morning and the whole time we were doing the fun thing, she was talking about how she was just going to go to Momma Angie's house. This was different this time because she started saying it when she was perfectly happy, not in trouble at all. You have got to understand this girl....she is determined, stubborn, and can get obsessive.......so what I'm saying is, if she sets her mind to something, there is no changing it.
So I get smart........I think of the Full House episode and I think there was a Brady Bunch episode when whatever child wanted to run away so the mother packs their bag for them and packs so much stuff that the kid can't carry it, decides they really do love it at their home, and works things out with mom......it ends with a hug and warm fuzzy feelings.
Yep, that's exactly how it would work. She is obsessing about going to Angie's, so if we pack her bags, pack them heavy, and send her out on the road by herself, she is sure to turn back and all will be well! Um.........NOPE! Nope nope nope, this is NOT how it happened.
HERE is how it happened:
A is crying and wanting to go to momma Angies so we say, ok A, you can go to Angies, let us help you pack. So I put our purses and whatever other heavy things we could find in a back pack. She didn't see what we put in. She hugged us, kissed us, got her helmet on , got her back pack on, and headed out.
Oh dear, she is not having a problem so far.
She got on her TINY Dora bike and started to pedal away down the road. (We live on a country dead-end road, so don't worry!)
Autumn!!!!!! She isn't having a problem......what do we do? We can't let her go to the highway!
Oh my goodness......I don't think Jan Brady ever got this far. Now what do I do?
So Autumn went and told her she forgot some things. She packed a little suitcase with like a 10 or more pound bag of potatoes! A came back and got her potatoes (she didn't know it was potatoes).
Oh yeah, this will get her. There is no way that she can pedal and steer the bike, with the big backpack on her back, the helmet falling in her face, and the suitcase to take too. No, she won't get far at all!
WRONG!!!!!!!
She was doing it.....she was dragging the suitcase alongside of the bike. What in the world?
So I start following her down the road because I don't want her to get to the highway.
Think Trinity, think.....
At first I just followed without her knowing I was following her, but then she kept going, so I had to give myself away. I didn't know what else to do, so I just started talking to "myself" really loud for her to hear.
Wow.......look at those clouds! I hope a tornado doesn't come. She didn't even care...... So I started talking TO her. A, if a big storm with lots of thunder comes, you need to take cover. And if a big mean stranger comes, just ride the other way. And if you see a skunk, try not to get sprayed.
I was trying to make her want to come home, but she just said, "ok" as if she was THANKFUL for all of the advice!
I SAID........if you see SKUNKS, you need to not get SPRAYED!!!!!! I hope that TORNADO doesn't blow you away!
Nothing.........she just kept riding. At this point Autumn joined me and we were both saying those things. She then comes close to the highway......not dangerous close, just close.
We HAVE to do something! What are we going to do? Why did I try to do that stupid reverse psychology from those dumb shows like it would really work?
So Autumn went to the grass parallel with the highway in the direction she wanted to go to momma angie's. Autumn peeked in the grass then jumped back in surprise.
Snake! Snake! Oh my goodness, I saw a snake. A, just be real careful of that big HUGE snake in that grass right there.
There was no snake, it was just our last resort! A froze......her big, worried eyes looked up at us.
Is it big?
Yep. Hope it doesn't hurt you ....be safe!
This was working.......she was buying it! I could smell her fear! So we turned around and said goodbye and started slowly walking back towards home. HOPING she would follow. Sure enough we hear:
Wait. I think I don't want to go there anymore. I think I will just go home.
Oh yeah! Mrs. Brady has NOTHIN on me! It's working! We walked ahead of her back home and God made it rain! PERFECT!
She got home and said she decided to stay at our house.
Good. (very matter of fact)
We love you and this is where you belong.
Never had her run away again!