Trust Me

Trust is a hard thing for me. To let go completely...not even holding on a little...that is hard. Really hard. I've been learning a lot about trust and thinking about trust lately, then at camp the Lord spoke through a story the pastor told. I'll get to the story in a minute. I don't know why I have a hard time trusting people completely and trusting the Lord completely....when I look at my life, I have been so blessed with a heritage of Godly people in both sides of my family. I did not realize growing up how rare it is to have such a rich and deep Godly heritage. My parents loved me, showed me a Godly example....I have no real reason to not trust people, except that I guess it is just our human nature to not trust. Then I look at my girls...they have every reason in the world to not trust. People have failed them over and over. They have been abandoned, left, neglected, hurt....they have every reason to not trust people. And I can't sit here and tell you that they trust every person whole-heartedly every time. Nope. And each girl is different....some of them have their guard up much more than others. However, I can tell you that I have learned so much about trusting people from them. I look at their lives...and I am amazed at how they choose to trust...trust the Lord, trust Autumn and I, trust others in their lives. It is beautiful. It inspires me.
At camp, the pastor told a story about a father and son...the son was born with a condition that he was bound to a wheel chair and he could not speak at all. He was helpless. But the doctors somehow hooked up machines to his brain and could interpret his thoughts into words through a computer. I know I am missing some details of how it all happened, but this is what ended up happening...the son wanted to run, so the dad made it happen. He got into shape, and this father/son pair have run in countless marathons and triathlons. Here is how they do it: the father runs/swims/bikes while pulling or pushing his son. The son is totally and fully dependent on the father. And the dad proudly, selflessly, and strongly carries his son through these races. I know I was at camp as a sponsor to help the kids, but the Lord spoke so strongly to me through this illustration (and the video of them racing). This is a beautiful beautiful picture of trusting the Lord. Trusting isn't telling God what you want and hoping he listens, which is often what my bossy self does. Trusting isn't walking around blindfolded with one hand holding onto God and the other hand feeling around for what might be in the way. Nope...it is fully letting him carry us. Being completely helpless to Him. And what is so beautiful about the picture of this father and son is that every time, the son had a HUGE smile on his face. There was no worry, no hesitation, no doubt. He was so happy, knowing that his father was going to carry him to the end, and he could enjoy it the whole way. Thank you Lord for this lesson! I needed it!!!